Like Eating An Entire Family Sized Chicken Pot Pie

Day 3 of taking meds. I started taking them over the weekend to give my body some time to adjust. But then someone told me it takes a month for that to happen. 

I took my meds at night cause it makes me kinda sleepy (which is a win win since I gave occasional insomnia). I found myself waking up at 4:30am. And not just awake but WIDE awake. I tried to go back to sleep but just lied there awake but also feeling like I'm floating.

But when it was actually time to get out of bed, I kept on floating. On my commute to work, I felt so groggy and in a daze. I could barely focus on anything. On the one hand, that's great cause then I can't linger on any bad thoughts. On the other, it would be the greatest irony if I died in a car accident because I took meds that are supposed to make me not want to die.

I'm so tired that my body can't focus long enough to get anxious or depressed. Maybe that's how I'm going to get through all this, in a giant fog. Assuming I don't get fired for sleeping on the job.

Days 4-5: decided to take meds right after work so they kick in at bedtime. Still woke up at 4 in the freaking morning but was able to doze til my alarm went off. Did not get too drowsy during the drive.

Thought about taking the sleep meds my doctor prescribed for my anxiety induced insomnia but they make me extremely groggy. Plus they can be addictive. So I might as well try Zzzquil or Melatonin instead.

Day 6: Felt my anxiety rising at night for literally no reason and I was out of my beloved Zzzquil so I decided to bite the bullet, so to speak, and take my sleeping med. I painstakingly chopped it into quarters and took the smallest chunk.

Voila, I slept like a baby. No 4 am wakeups! But I did feel groggy when my alarm did go off and pressed snooze a couple times. 

And so my life as a drug addict begins...